DOGAHOLICS ANONYMOUS
by Kim A.
Good Day. My name is Shirley and I AM a dogaholic I would like towelcome all of you to this month’s meeting of “Dogaholics Anonymous. Someof you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here. Youmay be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don’t needany help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic and it is evenharder to bring yourself to a DAA meeting for help.DAA is here to assist you.I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three ofthe following, you have come to the right place.Can you say “Bitch” in public without blushing?Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4×4 when everyone else drives a realcar?Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties andseminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctorsleave in disgust?Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennisshoes?Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?Are your end table really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC,WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines and premiumlists?Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows?Seminars?If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or squeakytoys?When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog theyhave and pity them if they don’t have one?Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember their name?Do you find non dog people boring?If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.My advise to all of you with three or more YES’s is to sit back andsmile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life willalways be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never beboring.
3 comments
I know a LOT of people who should be attending DAA meetings!
This is so us! I guess I’m a DAA. I could answer yes to most of the questions. Very cute.
I answered “yes” to almost all of the questions, so I’m very DAA–and could not be happier about it! Cannot imagine my life without my dogs!
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